what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
