I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
How naked do you want me to be?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
