If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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