theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
