is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize