I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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