What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
