just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
do nipples grow back?
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