i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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