idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
