You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
