ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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