Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
