I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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