It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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