do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
