Is it because I queefed?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
