Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize