Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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