His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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