Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
