There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
