how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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