I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
