You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I didn't notice because vodka
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
