There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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