I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
now i know why i became what i already was.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
