I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
