Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
