matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
