that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
nutella sex= disaster
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize