You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
if only i could text you this smell
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize