You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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