i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I would fuck him just for his dog
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
