you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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