At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
