): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
