He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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