the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
