I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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