I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
