Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
