I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
well most of my day revolves around power hour
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
