all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize