i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
