marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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