Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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