Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize