I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
