I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
