At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
