idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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