so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
