Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
