it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
