She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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