matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
