Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
