i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
