So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
