I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
