omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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