I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Vodka?
Forever.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Oh god it's open bar.
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