i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
