WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
